I wanna be that cat in thong sandals and black socks.
That dude that wears the same dark wool blazer with everything.
Unkempt beard and a forgotten hairline
walking with a journal and a book of poems under his arm.
I wanna be weird.
But not that Lady Gaga “look at me” type weird,
but that “ignore me” weird,
That outta sight, outta mind weird
where i emerge and fade back into the scenery.
emerge and fade
emerge and fade
hundreds of times a day.
I wanna be that dude that frequents the same coffee shop every morning
and the waitress asks me if i want “the regular”
and Ill pay in exact change
and leave 4 crumbled dollar bills in the march of dimes donation box.
I wanna be that dude that walks with his face to the sun in daytime
and sits on his window sill watching the traffic below at night.
I wanna be the type of man that smiles at strangers,
an ugly, toothy grin…
but a smile.
I wanna have long, random conversations with beautiful women
and know that they enjoy me for what I feel and not how i look.
I wanna sing songs two octaves too high,
and sit in the backseat of a car going 75 on the freeway with all the windows down,
puttin my face to a fierce rush of wind that makes you feel like you can’t breath,
until you finally turn away.
I wanna drink alot of water,
and a lot of gin.
And smoke cigarettes
and quit when I have kids because I Love them,
obviously more than I Love myself.
I wanna write, because thats as close to me as I’m ever gonna get
and as close to truth as Im ever gon understand.
I wanna sit lonely on bus benches and miss all my connections
jus riding.
Talk to the driver about his kids and how he wanted
more than anything
to own a chain of grocery stores as a kid
but he drives buses now
because his high school sweetheart got pregnant and now
his life is about his Love for his kids and wife
and not his ambition.
I wanna be still
and know.
…to be continued…always…
