Black President

I wasn’t going to write. I wanted to respect the timelessness of the occasion.

…to be completely honest. I didn’t know just how liberating it would feel until his faced flashed across the screen with the words “Barack Obama ELECTED President” beneath it.

There were no words.

There were no actions.

A few text messages.

A couple calls.

My entire body tingled. I walked outside and it felt as if the world had expanded in an instant. I felt that it was actually larger than it was 3 hours earlier. However, the growth was proportionate to the immediate increase in me. My confidence, my stature, my walk and my speech. All around me, people were….

Screaming
Clapping
Crying
Rejoicing
Uplifting
Combining
Supporting
Agreeing
Communing

…Together.

This single event has unified the black race more than anything I have ever seen or WILL EVER see again in my lifetime. An event of epic proportions. The day, November 4, 2008 will FOREVER reverberate in history as the day that all of the oppressed threw off their shackles, stood up tall, looked the majority in the eye and demanded their undivided attention.

It IS about race.

I am so sorry for those of you who wanted it to be about policy. I apologize if you thought it was going to be about the issues. Your money will come and your money will go. The economy works in cycles, always has and always will. The compromises on immigration, the war in Iraq, Roe v Wade or whatever the contention may be will all come in time. But the issue of racial equality has stained this great nation since the day its Declaration of Independence from Britain was drafted and the oppressed have merely survived under the thumb of the majority financially, psychologically, mentally and socially until RIGHT NOW!

I apologize if you are too blind to see it.
I apologize if you cannot understand it.
I apologize if you are frustrated by it.
I apologize if you are too immature to accept it.
I apologize if you read all of this defensively.
I apologize if you are too stubborn to swallow your pride.
I apologize if you think I’m wrong.

However, it is high time that people of color in this nation be infused with an unruly, unapologetic, uncompromising, unwavering, overconfident measure of hope that will give us confidence that the sky is, in all actuality, the limit. That my parents weren’t telling me fairy tales when they said I could be WHATEVER I want to be when I grow up. That way, never again will I have to walked shamefaced into a room because I have learned to FEEL looks of condescension and superiority. That way I can sit BOLDLY at the table occupied historically by the majority without insecurity or fear. That I can work just as hard as the next man and not be considered naturally inferior in intellect and reason.

TODAY, WE ARE EQUAL! IT IS OFFICIAL. Up until now we all wondered how high the glass ceiling was set for us. We groaned and ached with the passion for advancement but stood stock-still paralyzed by the likelihood of a systemic hindrance. Brothers and sisters, it is no more. The ceiling has been broken and we can now HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT, THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL!

For those who have won: Be proud. Fear no one. Yell at the top of your lungs and never let the air run out. Don’t let anybody tell you to be quiet to calm down to stop acting, playing, celebrating, rejoicing, jumping, clapping, dancing or skipping. This is the greatest single event of your lifetime. Embrace it unapologetically. Without fear or remorse. We have paid the price in much more than blood, sweat or tears. We have paid with our livelihoods. We have paid with our achievements and our successes, our failures and shortcomings. We have paid with those sleepless nights and joyless mornings. We have paid in bail money and student loans. We have paid in empty stomachs and unbalanced budgets. We have paid with single-parent homes and hand-me-down clothing. We have paid when our balance was negative. We have paid when we had nothing left to give. We have “forced our heart and nerve and sinew to serve their turn LONG after they are gone and so held on when there was nothing in us but the will which said to them, “HOLD ON!” We have laid ALL on the line for this day. We DESERVE this victory.

For those who have lost: Understand. If you cannot, try harder. Ask for insight. Make a new friend of color and allow him/her to tell you their story. Believe that it is fully true. Some moments in history are bigger than you. They are bigger than me. They are bigger than us and bigger than U.S. You have awakened the confidence and work ethic of an army of millions who were previously crippled by hundreds of years of programmed subordination. We can only go forward from here. We have had every reason in this long history to overthrow the established order, ransack for our due, pillage for our freedom and return the favor of oppression in order to enhance our own liberty. But we have not. We have waited patiently for over 200 years since the nations establishment and over 400 from the day we first set foot on American soil. We have turned the other cheek time and time again. Respect the victor, it is well deserved and as Americans, your beloved democracy has spoken. A VAST majority of all races, colors, creeds and ethnicities have chosen THIS man to lead them. You do not have to agree, but I will humbly request you to respect. A unified head is better than a factious one. Put down your pride and pick up your nation.

We are no longer the United States in title only.

{Selah}

Trees Pt.1

I don’t know exactly when it started, but for about the last 3-4 years I’ve been increasingly intrigued by trees. Not so much by their varying species, fruits and thriving climates; but more so by their figurative elements.

The personification of a solitary tree can be a figurative representation of, and is inextricably linked to, the average individual.

The personifcation of the forest is also highly correlated with, and related to, the aims and dynamics of the genuine community.

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Digression:

The aim of this series of notes is not to be a sermon. I will use a lot of personal examples because myself is all that I know authoritatively. I cannot speak for all of you; however, what I can hope is that my experience resonates with yours and you will be able to see your own struggle for growth within mine. I will use several references to the Body of Christ and my love for community because that truth is what is authoritative for my life. My hope is that you will read regardless of what you believe, whether or not you endorse or support my faith. I do not believe anything that I am going to say in this series is revolutionary or novel. These are truths that are fairly time-tested and consistent; however, that does not mean they should not be pointed out. To me, the sheer abundance of tree-life is a reminder by God that we must all strive for continual and progressive growth.

“Most men don’t need to be taught, they need to be reminded.” -Clive Staples (C.S.) Lewis

So please don’t expect anything earth shattering, but strive to understand the amazing simplicity of this facet of nature.
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I want to change..

Forever

…the way you look at trees.

For the past few years, whenever I see a particularly unique type of tree, I stop. I stare at it for a few minutes, turning over and over in my mind its processes and purpose. I want you to see what I see; match the conviction with which I see it; endorse it; claim it and live it.

.:Observation 1:.

.:As tall as a tree is above the ground, its roots stretch just as deep, if not deeper:.

When you picture a tree, what do you see?

You see the trunk, branches, branches shooting off of those branches, and on the very tips of the very last branches, you see fruits and leaves. But how many of us ever think of what is below the surface. Imagine that the earth’s crust was made of pure, freshly windexed glass. Imagine that as far as you could see above the surface of the earth, you could see the same distance below it. What you would see is that no matter how tall a tree is, its roots extend at least that far into the ground, allowing it to tap into the richest and most abundant resources that the earth has to offer so that it can maintain its stature and even continue to grow. The smaller the tree, the more difficult it is for it to obtain the nutrients it needs, save in regions where there is consistent rain, because there is so much plant-life vying for the nutrients JUST below the earth’s surface that it becomes a first come, first serve system. Those plants quick enough and strong enough to obtain the nutrients once they become available will live, all others, die. However, assuming that a particular tree is given the opportunity to live past this phase and push its roots farther into the soil, nutrients become abundant at the deeper levels.

It’s kind of like post-sceondary education…

The pool of high school students is enourmous, and thus, resources provided by the state (in the case of public schools) cannot provide ideal education for every student unless the state chooses to contirbute a ridiculous amount of its budget to education. However, at the undergraduate level, a significant number of students are left behind with only a high school diploma, for whatever reason. Some want to work, didn’t get accepted into college, can’t afford it, etc. But the bottom line is, the pool has been decreased therefore allowing for state-sponsored benefits to be shared among a smaller population of students, thus increasing everybody’s share.

Now consider the Masters and Ph.D. levels.

So few students choose to pursue a post-baccalaureate education that the resources available at that level are allotted liberally to all who choose to pursue education at this level. Consider that at the doctorate level, the school actually PAYS YOU to go to school. The potential is so great and the benefits so ripe that doctoral students get their tuition and fees paid for by the institution, and considering the type of program that you are in, you recieve a living stipend anywhere from $15,000-$40,000 per year, NOT counting any scholarships that you could recieve that are awarded specifcially to doctoral students.

Therefore, for trees, the deeper the roots stretch, the more abundant the nutrients, allowing for extremely healthy, rapid and almost limitless growth potential.

The tree is you.

Everyone has aspirations to become something in this life, whether it be an astronaut, professional athlete, professor, budget analyst, talk show host, coach, consultant, fashion designer, computer programmer, pastor, bishop, entrepreneur, CEO, CFO, COO, president of the U.S., Senator or Chairman of the Federal Reserve. But we all must realize that if you intend to go far, you must thrust your roots deeply into the soil.

Your personal growth is utterly dependent on how tenaciously you prepare for your future.

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belong to those who prepare for it today.”
-Malcolm X

If you want to play in the NBA, it would behoove you to ensure that you understand the game of basketball better than anybody who currently plays it, amateur or pro.

If you want to be the CFO or Microsoft, you best make sure that you read every finance book you get your hands on in order to be the most compentent and knowledgeable financial analyst in the nation, if not the world.

If you want to be a fashion designer, know your history. You should be able to identify every major era of fashion, what dominated, what has repeated and what is likely to repeat. This way you can be a step ahead of every designer in the industry and make a reputation for yourself as a perpetual dynamo in the craft.

If you want to build community and positively affect the lives of individuals and families, dive head first into a relationship with Jesus Christ and swim downwards until you reach a bottom, though I doubt you’ll find one.

Talls trees with shallow root systems are easily uprooted when the wind blows. They are too top heavy, and the soil just below the surface is to weak to sustain their stature. So even if you cut corners and get to the top of your profession ignobly, you will be easily dethroned by someone who has prepared for the position with their life. When pressure mounts, your roots will slip and you will tip over, and when a tree falls and everybody is around, it DEFINITELY makes a sound. Those individuals who are patient and diligent, who take the time to develop themselves before throwing themselves into the mix, who take the time to be planted, watered and germinate; will grow the tallest. Their foundations are laid deeply and the ridiculous growth and progress that they show is only a visual representation of the work they have put in.

Here we find a small lesson: There is no reason to be a hater. Period. You may not like a person, and that is fine, nobody says that you must like EVERYONE. But I encourage you to respect the accomplishments of any and every man and woman you meet because you have NO IDEA what kind of work they put in to get where they are. The ground is NOT made of glass. You cannot readily see the roots of the trees, nor can you readily see the heart and struggle of an individual to say that they have not worked hard enough, nor deserve, nor have earned any and all goodness that may come their way. It is impossible to grow LASTING stature and growth without a solid foundation; therefore, when you meet or become familiar with someone who seems to be consistently honest, dependable, responsible and trustworthy, understand an trust that they have prepared themselves for it their entire life.

Now I want to clarify three points before I bring this to a close.

1) In regards to growth in Christ. I do not want to endorse the notion that extending your roots deeply into a relationship with Him means attempting to tease out and master the most complicated and thus impractical and unnecessary Biblical principles in order to leave the masses awestruck and your prowess unchallenged. No one is benefitted from impractical and prideful knowledge seeking. In my eyes, it is mere sophism.

Instead, when I allude to a solid foundation in Christ, I endorse the practice of continually surrendering more and more of your daily life and tasks to His command and discretion. If you currently surrender Him your Sunday mornings, try surrendering “the tenth” as well. If you are currently handing Him “the tenth”, give Him your tongue. If He currently has possession of your tongue, give Him your mind. Surrender to Him until you have relinquished all concern, worry and control to Him. It is an issue of percentage. The percentage of yourself that you give over to Christ, up to 100%, will determine how much you will grow.

2) The Bible says that God reigns on the just and unjust alike. The earth is a series of processes. I liken it to a giant and extremely complex machine. It will perform the task it was designed to perform, regardless of who hits the “On” switch. I say that to say, if you choose to build your foundation in an ignoble practice, your potential for growth will be just as high as someone whose aims are pure. If you build a solid foundation of manipulation, substance abuse, dishonesty, unforgiveness, disrespect, distrust, mercilessness, pride, lust, debate, deceit, critique, etc. etc., you will become a giant in your craft. Most all philosphers believe that the universe is based on balance. The inexplicable tie between good and evil, man and woman, truth and lie, etc. So for every individual who has built a solid foundation on lasting principles, there will be one who has not. There are drug lords who make millions of dollars through underground markets, selling illegal substances to teens and the elderly. Phillip Morris created a stick approximately 4-6 inches long that is proven to shorten and/or end your life prematurely, but his family is perpetually wealthy and hundreds of thousands, if not millions of Americans, smoke cigarettes.

People will make mistakes. Not everyone is lucky enough to be born into a family with strong religious or moral convictions. Some people are born into families where food needs to be on the table “by any means necessary.” The world is not fair, but that doesn’t mean we should accept it as such. But when individuals take the time and effort to grow roots for a regressive cause, it becomes all the more difficult to uproot that tree in the instance that they desire to change. Sometimes even a hurricane cannot uproot certain trees.

3) Finally, it is never too late to start growing. There are chemicals that exist that can kill trees and other foliage at the root. If you want to start over, you can. Growth takes time and alot of effort, but anything worth having is worth working for. Even if you have grown quite a bit and are in fear of falling over, leaving your roots exposed and your life to wither; we all see trees with strings and 2×4s attached to help them stay balanced and grow strong. There are places you can find support. Find support in friends, family, church, a community center, a support group, accountability partner; anybody or anything that is dedicated unselfishly to your foundation. It is never too late.

.:Never strive to grow tall, only strive to grow deep. Your height DEPENDS on your depth, not the other way around:.

{Selah}

Press(ure) Release

Sometimes, I think I’m psychotic.

I wonder if everyone else’s mind works the same way mine does.

At the same pace…
With the same scope…
Encompassed in passion…
Plagued with doubt…
Threaded with hope…

Continually…

I don’t know if any of you have ever seen the movie “Phenomenon” with John Travolta, but there is a scene in this movie that describes perfectly the way I feel daily. Basically, the movie is about a normal, small-town mechanic who inherits a brain tumor than enhances his brain activity rather than decaying it. Nobody knows this until the end of the movie because it isn’t diagnosed. They all think it was a UFO that struck George (Travolta) down outside the bar and made him smarter. George never said he was any smarter, he just said that he had an insatiable desire to learn new things and because of that desire, began to see the world more clearly. However, after awhile, the insatiable reading and overload of information began to bog him down and stress him out. The stress culminated in the scene I want to describe to you.

George walks into the bar looking ridiculously unkempt and somewhat psychotic. He’s constantly rubbing his head and muttering to himself as the regulars at the bar stare at him with apprehension. The man who was once a close friend and confidant has become a stranger and an alien to them.

The people in the bar begin to ask him questions about the light, UFO, and how many books he’s reading and has read in the past week. They seem afraid and standoffish at first, but as people begin to ask questions they gain confidence and get louder and more bold with their approach. They heckle him and prod him harder and harder, longer and longer until he erupts into a fit. (I’m doing this from memory so please forgive inconsistencies with the script.)

George: Look, I got a million ideas a day…every damn day…no, every damn minute.

Bartender: What does it feel like George?

George: I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated because I have all these ideas and I can’t deliver. You know….little “what if” ideas and big, big “HOLY COW” kind of ideas. (To Bartender, pulling out a scribbled and wrinkled sheet of paper) See, look at this, your parking lot is set up all wrong. If you set it up this way you’ll be able to get four more cars in and nobody gets fender benders. Imagine that, huh? (Addressing the bar) WHERE’S BONNIE? WHERE’S BONNIE? Look, I designed a new mail route for you. Now if you follow this route, everybody’ll be able to get their mail by three o’clock…Go figure…3′ o clock. (Pulling out another sheet of paper) Oh, and by the way, this right here just might be the MOST efficient way to store solar energy. (To bartender) Here, take it, I don’t want it.

Bartender: What am I supposed to do with this?!

George: WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT, HUH?! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LIGHT WAS?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DAMN LIGHT WAS!? HUH?!

T WAS A GODDAMN MISTAKE IS WHAT IT WAS. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN TO SOMEBODY SMART…SOMEBODY SCIENTIFIC…SOMEBODY WITH INFLUENCE…BUT NO IT HAPPENED TO ME. GEORGE MALLEY. GEORGE FREAKIN MALLEY!

That is how I feel all the time. I’m never necessarily right about anything, but I have a lot of ideas and opinions on everything. I guess this is why I write. Though my words may be tinged with criticism and condescension, I have the utmost hope and respect for who I am writing to and what I am writing about. They always used to tell us in church that the message is always for the preacher first. That is how I take my writing. I see things in myself that separate me from others; judgments that I hold and stereotypes that I’ve allowed to flourish in my mind and I attempt to tear them down internally and then communicate how it can be beneficial for all of you. I wouldn’t say anything if I didn’t care, and maybe it doesn’t always come off that way. If so, I apologize for my shortcomings and the obstacles that come through my methods of communication. Offer me the Principle of Charity and be patient with my growth and I will be patient with yours.

There really is no general theme to this note. My mind was really tired and I had to put something down to release the internal pressure on my brain.

It worked.

I just want to say “Thank you” to all the people who read what I write. I hope that at least some of the things I say become valuable to you at some point or another, but more so than that, you all give me comfort that my voice is heard. In a way, writing is a very desperate attempt to be listened to and I admit that in many cases I employ it for that reason alone. Thank you all for being both good friends and worthy foes.

Selah.

Diversity vs. Religion

I have run aground upon a dilemma that is beginning to play an increasingly pivotal role in my personal development and my feelings of what is really important as regards to the progression of humankind.

I want to explain my intuition, BUT I WOULD LIKE SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS.

I don’t think there is any question that the word “Diversity” has become the defining stamp of the generation. Far beyond racial and ethnic diversity, we are expected to understand and embrace diversity of religion, national origin, sex, sexual preference, political preference, ideological preference, education, emotion, disability and opinion.

The goal of diversity goes far beyond mere knowledge about, and therefore, tolerance of, individuals who hold views differently than ourselves in any or all of the aforementioned categories, for which the list is not exhaustive. Personally, understanding diversity has to do with UNDERSTANDING that the way you are is not necessarily common.

Everyone considers themselves and the people around them “the reference group”.

The “reference group” is the community that immediately surrounds a particular individual, constituting a majority, and influences all of their opinions, generalizations and stereotypes of all other people outside of the reference group. For example, the idea that the SAT is a culturally biased exam is based in this idea of a reference group. The test is created by individuals who assume that the examples are “common knowledge” to the general population; however, when the majority of the test makers are white, their common knowledge is not necessarily the same as mine. So under this idea of reference groups, we either accept or shun the make-up, activities or opinions of others because they are not familiar to us.

Diversity aims to destroy this stigma by stressing the ideals of understanding and inclusiveness. This means placing yourself in the shoes of another and attempting to walk as far as you can in them, not matter how comfortable they may be to you. You do this because it will help you understand WHY that person is the way they are. You may not necessarily agree because your personal life experience speaks differently; however, you can end every contentious discussion with the phrase,

“Ok, I can see why (or what) makes you feel (or think) that way.”

Understanding diversity also helps individuals who belong to reference groups (i.e. ALL OF US) to understand–if we choose to be so introspective–why we are the way we are and what factors contributed to our personal development and the forming of our opinions. By doing this, we can see how narrow our opinions of the world actually are in comparison with the sheer number of opinions, based on the diversity of life experience, that actually exist. Then, once we see how small a sect our reference group actually is in comparison with the number of reference groups that exist, we can collaborate with others in order to better understand the world we live in and promote a more interdependent and cooperative world environment where everyone’s experience is valued because it presents a piece of the puzzle that we were previously missing; which without, we could never see the entire picture.

Now…

How does religion form a dilemma?

I think the reality of this situation is fairly intuitive and straightforward. Now keep in mind that I know the difference between a “faith” and a “religion”; however, for continuity’s sake, and to allow the non-religious to read without having to sort through jargon, I’ll stick with a general term.

Personally, I was formally trained in Christianity. I grew up Baptist and wholeheartedly believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, raised on the 3rd, ya’ll know the rest. However, as one of the last, if not the only, religion that is based on recruitment–we call it evangelism–I find it very difficult to reconcile diversity and religion. On the one hand, I understand that I am a Christian because of how I was raised. Very few individuals have had the opportunity to shop around and choose based on their personality, worldview and opinions on the matter. For the most part, we are spoon-fed our faith from a very early age and the permanence of early-childhood development cannot be disregarded…or reversed. Therefore, considering the fact that there are some strong correlations between religious beliefs and geography, I have to come to the conclusion that I was heavily, not 100% and maybe not 90%, but heavily pre-disposed to Christianity from birth and on through my early development. Had I been born in Indonesia, I’d be Muslim. It is very hard to ignore this fact and then reconcile it with the surety and tenacity with which we promote our respective religions. We all have utmost confidence and belief that our religion is the right one, but we hardly ever consider that everyone feels the same way about their own.

Now don’t get me wrong. As a Christian, I know people will tell me stories of the hundreds of people who have flocked to Christianity, and I agree. I wholeheartedly believe that Christianity is the one and only way. However, I cannot ignore the fact that 1) Christianity is one of the last religions that actively pursues new converts. Therefore, the same as in politics, you will recruit many of those to your side who were previously “middle of the road.” 2) We disregard the hundreds who flow away from Christianity into other faiths. No doubt because we live in America, we see much more conformance to Christianity than any other faith, but I wonder, controlling for converts received through evangelism, what the numbers look like around the world. It would seem that I only believe so strongly that I am right because I was born into a certain region, or family, or neighborhood, or lineage.

When it comes to reconciling religion and diversity, the question becomes, at least for the Christian, how do you embrace another religion…TRULY EMBRACE…without telling them they are going to Hell for what they believe. Imagine the situation in reverse,–it will be hard to do because few faiths are as aggressive as Christianity–that someone approaches you and tell you that you are going to “Hell” for believing in Jesus Christ as the Son of God. What do you say to them? You have built your entire life and belief system on the assumption that the religion you believe is absolutely and utterly correct. So ignoring the fact that you’d be apprehensive in the first place to potentially tear down your entire belief system by admitting that this person is right, would you even give him/her the time of day? Probably not. The truth is, they believe their faith just as strongly as you do yours because they’ve been trained in their religion just as long as you have yours, if not longer. True enough, there will always be religious moderates. Those who half-way practice their faiths for whatever reason, and will be apt to sway either one way or the other upon persuasion. But the devout and committed in every faith are there to stay.

So again, How can I truly embrace diversity, if that means understanding and accepting the fact that we all come from different and equally authoritative backgrounds (dissect that term), including myself, if the religion that I hold dear to my heart tells me that everyone else is going to Hell for the way they were raised and what they believe and it is my responsibility to explicitly and succinctly explain that to them at the expense of my “embracing of diversity.”?

Selah.

Bibliographies…

I was thinking about bibliographies today.

About a month ago I had a serious issue with why bibliographies were even necessary. I have an internal issue with a claim I propose not being valid until I get proof from a “credible” source. In my mind, any idea that I have, whether intuitive or counter-intuitive, is valid if I can offer acceptable reasoning. However, I was assuaged on the subject when considering the literary idea of “support”. Basically, if I have a claim to assert, the best way to validate it, whether in the eyes of peers or professionals, is to have proof that someone they may respect and admire holds the same viewpoint.

That’s democracy. I’ll tell you how.

When you were born, you were born into an active system. I liken it to starting a new job at a well-established company. The company already has practices in place, history, financial statements, employees, executives, culture, paperwork, strategies, goals, stock prices, analytics, etc that were established well before you came to work there, many of which before you were even born.

This is how you came into the world. You inherited an already established system and at the time of your first breath were expected to internalize all of it, identify where in the story of world history your life enters, determine the impact you want to have, if any, design the best way to make that happen, and execute. So in that regard, let’s think about the decisions you made today. What color shirt you decided to wear. How many pop-tarts to eat. Whether or not to go to class. Or how about more important decisions, like, paying closer attention to the news and the government bailout, being more vocal with your spouse or partner, reading a book on Social Darwinism or taking more time out for personal reflection. Consider WHY you made these choices. What prompted them? Are you adamant about them? Will you stick with them? How do the people around you feel about those choices? Are your motives selfish or unselfish? Do you care if anyone else benefits? Do you care if you benefit? Do you plan on sharing your new goals with a friend, parent, spouse, dog? Well, now think about the decisions you made that you didn’t have time to plan for. Think about the conversations you had and your outbursts. Think about the spontaneous decision to purchase a new outfit. Think about the split-second decision to call your mother. All of those small things that you could have never planned for that dictated the pace and tone of your day outside of the more important and long-term plans you thought of earlier. What were your motives behind these “short-term” decisions? Did you even have a motive? How did they make those around you feel? Do you know? Do you care? How do they make you feel? Would you like to change anything? Do you regret saying certain things? Would some of those regrets later turn into one of those “long-term” choices to be more mindful of the “short-term” decisions you make?

That was just today…and a very abridged version at only 2:08pm.

Now consider that same decision making process over the span of a week.

A month.

A year.

Your lifetime. It gets to a point where you begin to wonder why you even make some of the decisions you do anymore. You can’t quite put a finger on the experience(s) that made you feel the way you do about certain things, people, places or ideas. You sort through each day the best you know how. Sometimes hurting people, sometimes exhorting them, but generally allowing yourself little time to process each minor choice because it is so.

Now let’s throw in a wrench.

To this point, we have only considered your personal life. Your personal choices. But imagine that on your birth, you may have inherited certain traits and characteristics from your parents. Imagine that you are pre-disposed to certain ways of thinking, certain intellectual and physical capacity because of two individuals choices in a mate. Now consider, as we said before, that your acclimation into this active system will be relegated by these parents whom you’ve inherited so much from already.

(You might be able to see where I’m going with this.)

So now, with arguably millions of years behind you in this active system and an undetermined amount ahead of you, constituting your life. You are reliant on two individuals, who processed their decisions the same way you examined that you processed yours in our “short-day” example. Invariably, and strongly because they cannot teach you what they do not know themselves, they will tailor your learning based on their own life experiences, whether it be vast or narrow. You must even consider why they even chose the spouse they did and how that choice and blending of life experience would affect any seed they both might produce. They cannot know all because they have not experienced all, the active system is much older than they. Like the game “Telephone”, the can only pass down information and experience that has been passed down and lived by themselves, respectively. So from the beginning of your journey for continuity and “truth” in this world, you are reliant FROM THE VERY BEGINNING on a biased and extremely VOLATILE knowledge base that is undoubtedly continuing to learn and process daily the active system that they are in.

I will not even take the time to mention the amount of influence and choice-behavior an individual experiences once they begin to make friends and experience a social life. Education plays a role, faith, government, social-status, generalizations, discrimination, prejudice, justice, faith, etc.

But all in all, the almost 7 billion individuals who inhabit the earth today is a culmination of an infinite amount of knowledgeable, pseudo-knowledgeable, ignorant information and social processes taught by individuals of the same general knowledge-ignorance continuum and both directly affecting the individual while simultaneously affecting those closest to him/her and the world around them, depending on platform and scope for the individual. The number of information and decision processes by individuals on a daily basis, whether valid or invalid, informed or uniformed, ethical or unethical, selfish or unselfish, progressive or regressive, faithful or unfaithful, motivated or lazy, intentional or spontaneous, individual-focused or communally-focused has an exponential effect on that day and the tone and manner in which the active system will progress and regress. Curbing the learning curve and changing the “curriculum” for every new person who enters it, which occurs by the minute.

The same holds true for the past.

The same processes we sorted through for the individual, the parents, the immediate circle and how complicated and convoluted those decisions, motives and emotions are. The same is apparent in the history of this world. Consider the sheer number of individuals who have lived in the world whether past of present and imagine pooling all of their decision processes and tying each decision to another individual in history who it may have impacted positively or negatively. Not matter how small or how large.

How complicated is the world we live in then?
Can we be certain of anything except uncertainty?

So it seems that in light of how difficult it would be for ANYONE to find their way in this mess of a system; how difficult it would be to take in every facet of it and understand exactly where you fit and what you would like to do; how difficult it would be to search for something we call “absolute truth” in a world plagued by bias, contrary opinion and utter confusion, we have managed to form democracy. Democracy allows whatever the most amount of people agree with to prevail.

This brings me back to bibliographies.

If I believe something is true and can provide solid experiential evidence and claims on the subject, possibly even scientific experimentation; why do I need to cite anyone else for anything. All a citation is, in that case, is an admission that someone as complicated as you are came to the same conclusion, probably given similar background and experience. Therefore, by supplying an extensive bibliography with plenty of books written by people throughout history who support your claim, you are not being more credible. Something is not credible because alot of people agree or because you can find a list of books written by people trained in the same narrow field as yourself and have processed choices based on a skewed view of the world does not make something authoritative, and if that is the case, there are many vices that can be considered credible if a few people would only write some books about them.

I say all of this to say…

Everything we say and do is completely and utterly biased. Unless you can learn and internalize every person in history, their decisions, impacts, motives, choices, goals, vices, virtues, opinions and judgments and the respective fields and systems they inhabited (which brings up and entirely different discussion on the sheer number of topics available for specialization and the biases they carry), nobody can truly know ANYTHING.

So live in pursuit of knowledge and collaboration with the rest of humankind. Discover who you are FIRST. Take the time out to discover other and find out what is important to them. Discover those who have impacted your life and dissect the things you allow to influence your thinking so that you may understand to the best of your ability why you are the way you are. Discover a general history of this active system so that you can foster a general respect and admiration for everyone who has come and gone and those who inhabit it with you. Finally, discover a healthy skepticism for legalism. It is clear that in this system, very little can be either black or white. I believe that some can, but very little.

Keep your minds and hearts open to any and everything.

Selah.

Political Apathy

So, I found out that I’m a Democrat today.

For a long time, I’ve been a political apathetic, and to be honest, I still am. I found this website that broke down the specific difference in Democrats and Republicans and after going down the list of views relevant to the times we live in, I overwhelmingly prefer Democratic stances to Republican.

…but that’s not my issue.

Philly and I got into a small tiff about the role of government and I finally realized that that is what the arguing is all about. Whether or not government “should” act in certain situations. Whether it be issues of abortion, free enterprise, military spending, foreign policy, education, centralized or decentralized government. Citizens aren’t arguing over issues when they choose a party, they are arguing over whether or not the government should be allowed to intervene in certain “realms” of society.

Here’s my thought, and it may reveal some of why I am a political apathetic.

I have very little respect for the idea of professions. I don’t care how much of your life you have committed to a cause or how many hours a day you have fought to uphold and maintain our political, legislative, judicial, executive system. In economics, the time lost is sunk, can’t be recovered. So in light of new knowledge…in short….move on. Personally, I don’t care who you are, what party line you claim, who you endorse for this election. I don’t care whether or not you give a damn about Palin’s daughter being pregnant, or how you feel the government should or should not intervene in your personal affairs. If you can sit comfortably in a $2000 Armani suit and watch another human being die to genocide, poverty, war, slave labor, terrorism, poor workplace safety standards, gang violence, overwork, suicide or whatever the case may be and say, “Well, I don’t feel it’s the government’s job to reach there,” I feel pity for the state of your soul. Government is not a person. It does not have a last name or a personality. It does not have the choice or conscience to be active and positive in the lives of those it claims to protect. Just like the creation of the corporation, of which the purpose is to insulate stockholders from personal liability, but is ultimately made up of individuals, the government is the same way. I don’t care what you feel “the government should be allowed to handle,” every administration is made up of people with hopes, dreams, fears, bills and ambitions; children with down syndrome or Juvenile-onset diabetes; maxed-out credit cards, ridiculous co-pays and health insurance premiums; sick dogs and pregnant teenage daughters.

There is NO excuse for ANYONE to choose in favor of death over life and poverty over prosperity because “it isn’t the government’s job.” Our country is entirely too rich, too resourceful, too powerful, too influential, too dynamic, too trend-setting, and too world-altering to make excuses about why we cannot help those who need it most because of an opinion. Compassion is the name of the game. Looking at someone who is less fortunate than yourself and wanting to do everything you can to help make their life as enjoyable as yours is, regardless of how they got there. Everyone needs multiple chances and maybe as someone who has used up almost as much grace as God can offer, I understand. Everybody can’t be as lucky as we were. I got lucky and had parents who were willing to work hard to counter the fact that I wasn’t supposed to have past a 2nd grade education and live in mental retardation. I got lucky to be “smart” enough to go to college and graduate. But everybody isn’t that lucky. The don’t offer full scholarships to “C” students. Poverty does not mean “lack of money”, it means “hopelessness”.

It means looking up to see the bottom.
It means mom’s car isn’t reliable enough to get her to her minimum wage job so she can earn enough to buy a new one.
It means we can’t afford internet so that I can get on the mailing list for college applications.
It means it’s really hard to read with hunger pains or no lights.
It means that my school can’t help my dyslexia, so how am I supposed to foster a love of reading, and thus, learning.
It means I broke my leg playing football and lost my scholarship to college and my only ticket out of the ghetto since I can’t afford health insurance.
It means nobody taught me about interest rates and banks, so in order to put food on the table I gotta sell this dope so I can feed my family.
It means that a child has to reverse 3-4 generations of mediocrity in his families way of thinking, a daunting task for someone without a degree.
It means applying for credit and getting constantly denied or charged unreal interest rates because of mistakes you made when you were younger.
It means having to overcome your own feelings of doubt and self-hate to be better than you are.

Has anyone ever talked themselves out of their heart being broken? So why do we expect people to talk themselves out of having no confidence in their ability to succeed?

Don’t wanna hear that? I don’t care. Don’t knock it till you’ve been there. Don’t tell them they should have tried harder to pull themselves out until you’ve been to the place where you had no other choice. It could have been you.

Kill or be killed. Which would you choose? I seriously doubt that in the heat of the moment that we’d all take the high road, no matter how much I’d like to believe it.

So I remain politically apathetic with a few Democratic leanings.

Why?

Because we are going to continue to argue into oblivion about whose path is better. Whose ideas are better for the American people. Whose stances make the general public feel better about who you are and what you are doing. “Stay middle of the road so that more people like you.” “Don’t let your daughter get pregnant because the problems of ‘real life’ don’t affect politicians.” Newflash: politicians are made by an undergraduate major chosen at approximately 18 years of age…not divine providence.

I’ll stick to common sense. Letting my opinions defend the lives and growth of individuals and families rather than platforms and policies. Whatever is best for you, I am willing to do and that cannot be generalized. It is all specific to the individual.

So if you meet me, tell me what you need. I’ll be your politician. In the name of God and Jesus Christ that I serve, whether you believe in Him or not, I will commit my life to making sure that in all things you will live and not die.

Whether I claim Democrat or Republican, I am your representative and I know that all of those who believe in the sanctity of individual life, choice and love will feel the same. I live to see you happy. That should be the role of a government that is “by the people, for the people.”

That’s all that’s important.

Selah.

HIS-Story

Lately, well, more like always, I’ve been having a very difficult time putting into words why I want to get a Phd in History over any other subject. Internally, there is no question. It is the story that intrigues me. I fully understand that life on earth has been a progressive revelation. A tale of human beings interacting with human beings either for personal gain or purely altruistic motives. Every decision made by every individual from the dawn of man until the present day has in some way shaped the world you and I live in. I do not believe it is possible to make a change in this world and/or make a plan that will propel mankind into perpetual prosperity unless we understand both the story of our past and the motives that our present is built upon. As a secondary source, in its introduction by David Lehman, The Oxford Book of American Poetry has a beautiful quote from T.S. Eliot’s essay, “Tradition and the Individual Talent” that fully encompasses my newfound and rapidly growing love and appreciation for history. He says, “what happens when a new work of art is created is something that happens simultaneously to all the works of art which preceded it. The new (the really new) work of art revises the tradition it joins.”

In my eyes, the birth of every individual is “the really new” work of art. Singularly, the decisions I make concerning my life and impact I have revises the tradition of life in this world that I have joined and will eventually leave. Human life is a progressive revelation, it is not static. Every passing second of my life immediately becomes the history of the world and man. How trivial to reduce the art of history to the memorization of dates and exaltation of one group over another, one man over another, one president, emperor, chancellor, or king over another. Understanding the history of human interaction, who wrote its history, how it is received, etc. will give us more insight than the studies of psychology or sociology ever could on human behavior. History does so much more than protect us from repeating our mistakes. It gives us the keys to the future if we can learn to see how the decisions of ancestors have had an effect on us today both individually and collectively. Becoming active rather than passive readers of the history of EVERY nationality, from EVERY point of view can teach us how to overcome the plagues and principalities of our current world and steadily progress towards what we all really want; a better life for us and our children.

Real Life

I’m sitting on top of the world. Looking out at the masses. Each individual crippled with pain. Stagnated by fear. Pessimistic because of continual disappointment. Floored by his/her own irrationality and inconsistency. Walking through life as if nothing is the matter and none of the above is true. Every man and woman flaunting him or herself haughtily as if trying to disguise the deeper pain within. I don’t think they are disguising it though. I think they are ignorant of it. Apathetic and unwilling to find the true root of the pain they feel in their hearts. Too tired from work and far too hungry to discover that the way they treat themselves and others is not worthy of such a high gaze.

They are all walking around. Aimlessly. Ignorant of the depth of self and even more so that of others. It’s selfish really. To think that you haven’t been as effected by the tragedy of your past any more than the next man. Why are you so critical of him, so unforgiving, so unmerciful and ungracious? What have you done that is so great? He who is without sin cast the first stone. You are not without sin, yet the air is tight with rock and sediment. It’s a shame how we treat each other. A shame how we treat ourselves. One man eating himself into cardiac arrest whilst another man profits from his death by selling it; all the while frivolously squandering his wealth in pursuit of a Bentley coupe, Coach bag for his wife and custom tailored Armani suit, all so that he can prove to Class of 1967 that he wasn’t, “A loser.

…and the saga continues. Daily. One man’s pain dictating and perpetrating another’s. The oscillation of conflict and resonation of death. Today, we are born to die. Slowly, methodically, passively.

…but as I sit atop the world. Looking out at the masses. Those crippled, stagnated, pessimistic masses. I feel overwhelming love and compassion. I love them because they are like me. Fully human and unadulteratedly so. They may not be honest, or critical, or gracious, or merciful, or kind, or selfless, or loving, or patient, or benevolent, or confident, or evil, or scholarly, or miserly, or ethical, or well-dressed, or educated, or wealthy, or political, or obese, or lazy. But they are real. The heaving in their chests and the thumping in their breast proves that it is so.

…and life….real life….is the only requirement to receive love from me.

I hate blogging

See, I just sat here and tried 3 separate times to communicate my thoughts to the world on changing my vocation. The internal struggle that came with handily throwing away 4 years of undergraduate focus because I want to live in pursuit of fulfillment rather than money. But the words wouldn’t come out right. Maybe that’s why I keep going back and forth between writing and not writing. Daily, I have nothing interesting to say. My sentences are bland and uncharged…but piss me off or make me think and a new “me” sits to the keys.

I’ve got to learn to harness this energy or at least learn the craft thoroughly. I love to write. Better yet, I love to write about how I feel. I love to defend the defenseless with my words. I love to give grace and forgiveness when none is offered. I love to rock the boat, to provoke people who don’t think critically to do so. I love the feeling of winning a persuasive argument, not because I love to argue. As a matter of fact, I hate arguing, I feel like I get pulled in too far emotionally. All I know is that my opinions and feelings generally defend the wretched humanity and potential growth for any and every human. The solution is beautiful much more so than the structure of the argument.

“When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.”

-Buckminster Fuller

So, as for writing. I suppose I’ll use it as a therapeutic release than a day-to-day journaling of my activities and feelings concerning them. It may very well get old. I have alot of opinions on a lot of issues. Many of which will change tomorrow and others for which my mind has never and will never change. I do not claim to have any monopoly on any type of information, “but I do work daily to close the gaps in my education. I am going as fast as I can” (B.D. Tatum). Either way, stay tuned, it may be a while until my next post but I’m looking for quality over quantity.

McGruff’s Big Bite

I’m starting to think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew for my first grad school semester at Texas A&M this fall.

…but since you have no idea what I’m talking about, let me explain.

I should have had a Liberal Arts major in undergrad. But coming from where I’m from, like Anthony Hamilton, I was chasing the money and the business track proved to be most lucrative at the time. To make an extremely tumultuous and arduous journey short, I find myself preparing for my August 20th arrival to my graduate program in Human Resources Mgmt. at Texas A&M longing for an alternate profession. Personally, I just can’t see myself behind a desk for the next 30 years competing with people I don’t like for responsibility I don’t want in order to make money I probably don’t really need.

My gift and curse: A minor in History.

I plan to take 6 additional hours of History every semester while at A&M in addition to full-time graduate hours so that I can pursue a Phd after graduation and become a college history professor. I’ll have to stay an extra semester at A&M and learn Spanish in my spare time–it’s a requirement of most Phd programs that applicants show satisfactory accomplishment in a foreign language–but I’m optimistic about the doors that will be available. If I enjoy the business realm more than I anticipate, I’ll stay. If I loath it as much as I anticipate, I’ll leave.

Then comes the issue of work and it so happens that I have the opportunity to hold 2 jobs while only working the hours of about 1.5. So 2 times the income for 1.5 times the work. I’ll take that anyday.

Problem is, people keep warning me about not biting off more than I can chew for my first semester. The first thing I say is, “but it’s HR.” It’s not Philosophy or Mathematics, but maybe my ignorance will be my downfall. Let’s hope not. I knew my work would be cut out for me coming in because I have to counter my long business background in order to convince these Phd admission boards that I want to pursue a degree in History. So I knew I had this coming, but maybe in reality it’s impossible for me to know what I have coming.

Only time will tell…